Hated It (in my Antwan Merriweather voice)!!

Why is it that so many hetero-men (hm) are intimidated by gay men? It seems that hm's loose their balance when they come into contact with them and I just don't get it. I don't use the word hate often, but this behavior causes me to feel like Blain and Twan (see above).

Just last night, I'm in the Teeter and a gay couple came to the self-checkout and stood in line. The men that were in line tensed up tighter than those ladies that clutch their purses when I enter the elevator (that's another story for a later date). We had been making small talk before the couple entered the line but now, they all got quiet as church mice. Now, I'll talk to anyone regardless of the sexual persuasion, so when I heard the couple talking about grilling out and watching the Final Four this weekend, I had to ask..."Is that an open invitation? I'll bring the wings!" You would have thought that I had offended Zeus the Greek God by the way the other men in the line gasped. A simple conversation with two, quit attractive men, now made the other straight men seem offended.
Offended? REALLY! Why? I think when it comes to gay men hm's have a thing or two to learn from them.
1. How to dress. Gay men have hella good style.
2. How to take care of their body hygiene. Many men walk around with dirty, long nails and have no problem with it. A quick tutorial from a gay man would remedy this.
3. How to interact with other males. Interacting with other men doesn't have to entail a lot of high fives, elaborate hand shakes and gratuitous use of profanity in order for it to be a good time.
4. How to speak intelligently. Is it me or do most men under 35 mumble when they speak?
5. How to converse with gay men w/o thinking they "want" you. HM's seem to think that every gay man  is interested in them so they can't look them in the eye when they are in their presence. I guess if they do, maybe they feel they'll be hypnotized by the gay-vibe and weird things will start happening.

My point is, gay men are who they are. Just like a mechanic is who he is, an athlete is who he is, a drug dealer is who he is. We don't feel odd when one of them is in our presence so why do some of us change when a gay man is? Gay men know who is gay and they have a much better gay-dar than hm's could even wish for. Gay men don't have sexual thoughts about every hm that they encounter. Sometimes I wonder if the reason that many hm's feel like eye candy to gay-men is because they have sexual gay thoughts in the back of their minds. If you think about the hazing that occurs with straight men, it usually always involves some type of male on male contact (something stuck in the ass, tea-bagging, simulated oral and my favorite offensive-act, the pictures with cocks drawn on a males face). Look, gay men are funny, smart and great conversationalists. They know who they want and aren't on a hunt to bring every hm to the "gay side". So hm's relax and stop being so uptight when you encounter a gay man/men. They shop like everyone else and aren't on a mission to feel your "manly-bits" up and accost you at every interaction. They are simply men as well..better dressed and smelling than you probably are, though.